a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
