Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
