if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
