I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
