I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
