Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
