You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
