Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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