One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I need water and some morals
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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