If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
