I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
