The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
