ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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