Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Randomize
