Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Randomize
