well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
