I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
being pregnant is like rehab
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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