dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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