Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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