omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Vodka?
Forever.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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