my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
She bit a glass in half.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
