garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
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