people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
