You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
