I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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