her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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