I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Just took my morning after pill in the library
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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