i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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