Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
