we're chasing vodka with high fives
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
No subtext here. People are naked.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
