her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
