yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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