You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
