Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
