She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
