He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
My ass is underappreciated
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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