He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
