the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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