I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
