I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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