Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
