Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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