He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
My dick has a subreddit
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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