porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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