You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Randomize
