i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
