Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
two words...techno handjob
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
