Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
