is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Are we still banned from the library?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
