my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
